There are few gestures that say “I love you” quite like making someone a meal. But as a chef, I have a problem. I usually end up doing all the cooking in a relationship, so I rarely get to experience that. When I do, I feel like my partner feels like I am judging her meal when I am really just overjoyed to have someone cook for me. I don’t care what it tastes like.

This unevenness in the kitchen is true for many relationships, and so for this upcoming Tu B’Av, a Jewish “Valentine’s Day” gaining mainstream popularity in Israel, I am suggesting an easy-to-make meal for the less culinary-inclined person to show how much they care to the person they love.

Recently, someone I follow on Twitter asked what we would say is the male equivalent of giving a woman flowers?

After some thought, I said, “a steak.”

This is just a light-hearted joke. Of course, there are women who love steak just as much as I can appreciate flowers as a man, and yes, there are men who are vegetarian. Yet, I feel like there is some truth to it often enough.

But steak as we, in America, know is not quite the same as enjoyed in Israel. When I first moved there, I kept hearing “entrecote, entrecote.” Thanks to Google, I figured out that it’s just another term for rib-eye.

Still, enjoying a steak by itself, just salt and pepper, maybe some garlic and rosemary, is simply not the Middle Eastern way. They have to jazz it up and use spices and marinades. They have to make it distinct. So, generally, Israelis like to eat their steak in kabob form with the steak marinated and grilled over hot coals – often eaten with rice on the side, maybe some tahina or hummus and pita.

I remember on Fridays, Yom Ha’atzmaut, and Shavuot, people would crowd the beach with their cheap mini-grills. Fanning the flames of ignited coals is perhaps an unofficial sport in Israel. However, if you don’t have a grill or want to fuss with one, you can roast a kabob in a high heat, preferably with a convection setting. You might not necessarily need to skewer your meat this way, although you can roll some aluminum foil into little beams to rest a skewer in the oven. And if you do grill, make sure to soak your skewers in water ahead of time to prevent them from burning. A digital thermometer helps to determine doneness – 145 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 seconds for beef is perfect.

Kabob can be made in so many ways, and for exact recipes, I suggest Jamie Geller’s website.

But for the truly culinarily-handicapped (and I know a few in my family, so I am writing this with their skill level in mind), I might suggest having a backup plan in case your efforts don’t work out. If so, the ultimate quality, easy meal is bread, cheese, and wine – maybe with some olives, fruit, nuts, and smoked fish on the side. You really don’t need much else.

So, whatever you do to celebrate Tu B’Av, understand that providing food for someone is how we encourage someone to “keep going” and persevere because we believe in them. It is a love language of its own.

Eitan Altshuler can be reached at the Humusiya at the Sandler Family Campus or at
ealtshuler@ujft.org.

 When I moved to Israel, I was actually shocked to see families barbecuing on Shavuot.  I had thought Shavuot was a dairy holiday and had somehow inferred from that tradition that eating meat on this holiday was forbidden.

 There’s a certain mystery to Shavuot.  In fact, Shavuot was not even its original name.  In the Book of Exodus, it is called Chag HaKatzir (Festival of the Harvest), and in the Book of Numbers, it is called Chag HaBikkurim (Festival of the First Fruits).  

 No one knows for sure how eating dairy on the holiday became customary among Ashkenazim.  The first mention of the custom in Jewish literature is only dated to the late 14th century in the Sefer HaMinhagim (Book of Customs).

 The religious explanations for the custom range from the Torah being compared to milk in the Song of Solomon to the belief that the Jewish people weren’t ready to eat meat when they got the kosher laws. 

 The theory I personally find the most interesting is the one that involves Shavuot being the day when children were inducted into heder (Jewish school) in Eastern Europe. It was tradition to celebrate the occasion with dairy since it was the most economical choice.

 Whatever the case may be, I think likening Torah and learning with milk is a beautiful and accurate analogy that we should indulge in with a little cheesecake.  I have made a number of cheesecakes in the past – a Bailey’s cheesecake and an Oreo cheesecake, which has been my favorite so far, but I am super excited to try my hand at a baklava cheesecake with pistachios, cardamom, rose water, and honey in a phyllo dough crust.  

 I am about to try it and put it on the menu soon. I can’t wait!

Eitan Altchuler can be reached at the Humusiya at the Sandler Family Campus or at ealtshuler@ujft.org.

When I worked in a bakery in Israel, we would start selling “oznei haman” (Hebrew for haman ears), a month before the holiday. There, halva, caramel, Nutella, poppyseed, and nuts are generally more popular varieties – but most still have that same crust.

One time I came by a bakery (Lachamim on HaHashmonaim Street) with the most visually impressive hamantaschen I had ever seen. Not only did they have the standard sweet varieties, but they also sold savory hamantaschen. But most incredibly, the crusts were so much more delicate and tastier looking. I bought every kind they had, and I couldn’t wait to eat them all.

So, how did hamantaschen become the official food of Purim? According to Stephanie Butnick, deputy editor of Tablet magazine and co-host of the Unorthodox podcast, hamantaschen come from 16th century Germany where Jews took cookies called “mohntaschen” and rebranded them “ha-mohn-taschen” for the holiday. I don’t know what her evidence for that is, but what did they eat before? What most people don’t know is that there is a Levantine dish, which is very similar to hamantaschen except they are savory, called fatayeh. Makes me wonder…

Nevertheless, you might be busy and with limited time to cook, especially for a dessert. That doesn’t mean you can’t create a main dish version. In that case, you could use some wonton/egg roll wrappers as a shell for a savory hamantaschen (search detailed instructions online). The options for fillings are practically endless.

Earlier this month, I filled mine with a seven-spiced hamburger. I dipped them in some hummus and felt nourished both nutritionally and spiritually.

Purim is the only Jewish holiday where the people in Jerusalem add an extra day instead of those living outside the land. Usually, it’s the reverse.

While Israel represents the Jewish people’s cultural home, the country is also a special Jewish blend of all the different cultures we have experienced in the diaspora, and it is this diversity which not only makes Israel at the cutting edge of cultural and economic innovation but also enhances our understanding of our own beliefs.

One of the messages of Purim it is that Jews can have a mixed background and a complicated identity. Our Jewish heritage is a part of us just as is the culture of our host nation, and they are not necessarily in conflict.

Managing the balance can be stressful, so that is one reason we celebrate Purim with some silliness and relief – along with some good food.

Chag Sameach!

Eitan Altshuler operates the Humusyia at the Sandler Family Campus. Its daily menu can be found at the Cardo Cafe.